Monday, June 15, 2015

Day 19

I'm being wishy-washy.  I don't know if I'm just going to start over or keep going.  I got on the scales this morning and they said 167.8.  I don't know what to think at this point.

I didn't eat like I should yesterday.  The frustration got to me and the depression.  Today's not looking good, either, as far as the depression goes.  Anxiety levels will probably go up as the day goes on.  My daughter's boyfriend is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and my mother wants the house spotless.  Ok, fine, but she gets to where she nit-picks about every little thing - I don't do anything right - she constantly b****es.  It's just one thing after another.  I can't deal with that.  I shut down.  I've dealt with it all my life and I've gotten to the point that instead of trying to fight back, I just shut down.  Completely.  My stomach is already queasy.  It's things like this that make me run for a big tub of Death by Chocolate.

I am thinking of a plan though.  I think I'll set my calories at 1200-1500 a day.  I'll try to stay toward the low end, but if I get too hungry, I can still eat a bit more without going off plan.

Ok, I've taken some stomach medicine.  Hopefully, my stomach will settle down in a bit.  My mother left for a while so that may help, too.  I HATE this burning in my stomach.  A lot of times I eat to relieve that burning.  Does anyone else have this problem?

Update:  I moved my doctor's appointment to tomorrow.

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