Monday, June 1, 2015

Day Five

I'm feeling depressed this morning after my bout with anxiety yesterday.  Mother left before I woke up this morning.  She's probably pissed off about something.  This is what living with my mother does to me.  I wish so badly that I could be independent... and anxiety-free... and happy... or just normal.

I'm currently obsessed with sleep.  During the school year, I only get 4-5 (or less) hours of sleep each night so now that I'm off, I just want to sleep.  It feels so nice to be able to get 8 hours of sleep each night.  That's just wonderful!

I ate about 1100 calories yesterday.  Losing weight is such a pain in the rear.  I wish it were as easy as gaining it.  I'm good at that.  I've battled with my weight for most of my life.  I had an eating disorder by the time I was in second grade.  I was already severely depressed by that time.

The anxiety and anxiety meds yesterday rendered me almost nonfunctional so I didn't get as much done as I wanted to.  I did start cleaning the laundry room, but the meds made me so sleepy I didn't get it finished.  I've got to finish that today and continue to work on the junk room.

I still want that nice big tub of Death by Chocolate.

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