I'm Back

I haven't posted in a while because I was really sick for a few days.  I had to have an antibiotic shot Friday and one Saturday, plus take these huge, horse pill, strong antibiotics twice a day, plus pain meds and I was totally out of it for about three days.

I weighed 169.4 at the doctor's office.  When school starts, I'm going to try to start counting calories again.

I really wanted to start Titania while I was sick in bed, but I was just too woozy.  I finally got her started, though.

7/26/15

 

 

Totally LOVE my Queen Mab needle minder from Golden Circle Designs!

7/27/15

I wanted to be further along on that wing, but yesterday I was feeling woozy again and had to frog several sections 2 and 3 times before I finally decided to take a nap.  I'm going to work on it some more a bit later this afternoon.

While I was so sick, I was enabled by a couple of stitchers to order a few more things for my stash.  Messy Stitcher on youtube did Promise Me by Lizzie Kate and I had to get that to make for my daughter.  I was also enabled by Jo at Serendipitous Stitching to get Joan Elliott's Bewitching Cross Stitch because of the cutest little design she did called Believe.  You can see her project on this blog post.  That one will probably go to my daughter, too.  (I rarely keep any of my cross stitch projects.  I'm always doing them for someone else.)

I'm beginning to feel a bit woozy again, so that will be all for now...

Titania Practice Finished

Now I get to start on a big project!

Titania 2

What I've got left on practice Titania now are the backstitching and the beads.  My daughter has decided she likes Mermaid of Atlantis after seeing Carolyn Mazzeo's on youtube.  It may take me a while to get around to that one, but it does have some gorgeous colors in it.

I went and picked out the frames for my glasses yesterday.  I should get them in a week or so.  Hopefully I'll be able to see my stitching better with those.

Titania

I haven't been counting calories for a few days.  I haven't been eating a lot.  I just haven't counted the calories.  When I went back to the doctor Thursday for my wellness checkup and I weighed 170.2, I just gave up.  I'm just going to give it a rest for a while and get back on it maybe when school starts.  I'm not overeating, though.

What I have been doing is practicing on Titania.  Since I'd never stitched on 32 count fabric before, I really wanted to practice that and beading before I started on the real thing, so I got a piece of scrap 32 count fabric and marked off a 50 stitch x 50 stitch section of Titania and I've been working on that.  Most of the first night was spent winding floss onto bobbins.  I took a picture each night. 

7/17/15

7/18/15

  

7/19/15

The awesome needle minder was purchased from Gina's Unique Boutique on etsy.

It has not been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be to work on 32 count fabric.  It took me a little while to get used to the pattern, but it hasn't been as difficult as I had imagined, either.  I'm going to frame this one and give it to my daughter for her dorm room.

The summer's almost over and I am so not ready to get back into the stress of teaching.  I got a phone call from a fellow teacher the other day and she was telling me how many of our teachers have been cut and our principal has been in a really bad mood.  Morale is probably going to be low and we'll have much larger class sizes and program cuts.  I am not looking forward to this year at all.

Well, that's all for right now.  I will post more later.

Day 49

I missed yesterday, but I ate about 1400 calories yesterday and day before. 

I had to go get shots for my back today even though my daughter and I have wellness checkups tomorrow.  I was trying to wait until tomorrow, but it just got to be too much.  I weighed 168.2 at the doctor's office.

I've been watching a bunch of videos on youtube by cross stitchers.  That's been really interesting.

I ended up having to buy a piece of cross stitch fabric from ebay for something I wanted to start this weekend.  It turns out Silkweaver has not actually mailed my fabric.  They've only printed the mailing label.  What in the world is keeping them from going ahead and mailing it, I don't know, but I won't be getting it by this weekend when I should have had it last week.  I am so not happy about that.  While I really do like their fabrics, I don't think I'll be ordering from them anymore.  This is absolutely ridiculous.

Those shots made me really dizzy this time.  We went to Walmart while ago and I nearly had a wreck on the way back home.  I'm going to lie down for a while and try to get over this wooziness.

Tempest Finished

I used Thread Heaven for the backstitching.  I didn't use it on any of the cross stitching.  It really helped with the backstitching, but I'm not sure I'd use it for cross stitching.

I'm glad to get him finished.  Now I've got to find a frame to put him in.

Day 47

I ate about 1500 calories yesterday.  I've been having issues with anxiety yesterday and today.  I eat more when I'm having an anxiety attack.  Actually, I usually binge, so yesterday I did well.

My best friend did come over for a while and we had a nice visit.

Raggedy Man showed back up yesterday and he's been here today, too.

The depression got worse today and I cried.  I'm feeling a little better now.  I don't know what happened.  I started thinking about school starting and I'm not feeling up to the stress that's going to entail.  My daughter will be going back to college and graduating this year.  I felt guilty for spending time and money on cross stitch.  It was a whole lot of things.  I got depressed and then every horrible thing my brain could come up with started going through my mind.

Silkweaver finally mailed my package today.  I'm not sure if I'll use them again.  Their fabrics are nice, but customer service is atrocious.

I got very close to being finished with Tempest.

I received the awesome needle minder today.  I ordered it from A Needle Runs Through It on Etsy.  I also got one from another shop on Etsy.  I'll have to get a picture of it later.

I'm trying to get finished with Tempest so I can get started on Titania.  I'll have to take a couple days break to get some other stuff done.

That's all for now...

Tempest 10

Here's how far I got on Tempest before I got too sleepy to carry on.  I've just got a bit more at the bottom on the border to cross stitch and then finish the backstitching.

I haven't started on Titania yet.  I fully intended to as soon as I got all the supplies, but I'm not good at having several cross stitch projects going at once.  I generally like to finish one thing before starting another and I wanted to finish Tempest before my daughter goes to college.  Since I'm almost finished, I'll get to start Titania soon.

Day 46

I missed yesterday, but there just wasn't really anything to post.  I didn't count calories day before yesterday.  Yesterday I ate about 1400.  I really thought I'd lose a little weight this summer, but it hasn't worked out that way and I'm really discouraged about that.  I really thought I'd lose a few pounds.  I wasn't expecting much.

My daughter and I both have appointments with the doctor next week for check-ups.

My best friend is supposed to come by today.  Her mother is very ill so that may not work out.  I haven't heard from her yet today.

This is the second day I haven't seen Raggedy Man.  I hope he shows up sometime today.

I've got massive amounts of raccoons now coming up to eat.  I've been feeding them for years, but this is the first time I've had so many at one time in a very long time.  I'm having a hard time keeping up with them.  I've got a few that will actually come up and grab my hand for cookies - whether I have a cookie or not.  Last summer I had some really nice raccoons.  This summer, they're kind of jerks and there are so many.  But, they're also sweet.  I just love raccoons.  There are several babies coming up now.  They're so cute and fuzzy.

My back has been acting up for two days.  I may need to go get those shots again, but I want to wait until my appointment at the end of the week, but the way it's felt yesterday and today, I'm not sure if I'll be able to.  It brought tears to my eyes yesterday.

I want to call my eye doctor tomorrow to see if he'll go ahead and make me some glasses.  The reading glasses just aren't working for my cross stitch and it's getting quite frustrating and aggravating.

Well, I need to go get ready for my friend to come over.  It won't be a surprise if she doesn't make it, but I still need to get ready just in case.

Tempest 9

Tempest today.

Tempest 8

Here's Tempest now.

I'm still having issues with Silkweaver.  Their customer service is truly abysmal.  They still haven't sent fabric that I ordered over 2 weeks ago and I called yesterday and they said it was being mailed yesterday, but it wasn't.  Messages go unanswered.  It's ridiculous.

I got my Raven Queen pattern yesterday!  I was excited about that.

I still haven't worked on Titania, but I've been trying to finish Tempest before my daughter goes back to college.

Day 44

I consumed about 1400 calories yesterday.  Today I ate cookies that my daughter made. 

I've felt pretty bad today.  I've had a bout of depression.  It's one of those that you wonder if things will ever get better.  I really hate this feeling.  I've lost interest in lots of stuff.  I've lost a lot of sleep and I feel stupid and incompetent.  I don't really have anything else to say right now.  Maybe I'll have something more tomorrow.

Tempest 7

After many hours of backstitching, I've got this much done.

I didn't get anything ready for Titania.  Once I started backstitching, I didn't stop until my eyes blurred.

Day 43

I consumed about 1200 calories yesterday.

My fabric came in today!  It turned out quite pretty but now I'm concerned about working on 32 count fabric.  It's tiny and I'm not real confident that I can see it that well when I start working on it.  I'm going to give it a try, though. 

That's Fairy Land for Titania, Wandering Ivy for Adia, and Magical Garden for Petal Fairy.  I'm really liking the Fairy Land.

I haven't gotten much accomplished today.  We had to run a couple of errands and just got a back a little while ago.

My daughter is making cookies for a friend of hers that's in boot camp.  We'll have to mail them tomorrow.

I'm about to work on Tempest a bit more and get my supplies sorted out for Titania.

Tempest 6

This is what Tempest looks like now.  I think I'll do some backstitching today.

Day 42

I consumed about 1200 calories yesterday.  I say consumed because some of the calories came from a coffee drink.  I normally don't drink my calories, but I wasn't hungry and I really wanted the coffee drink.

We're about to go into the city again.  I'm hopefully going to make working copies of Titania, Adia, and The Woodland Fairie.

Raggedy Man was back this morning, so he's doing ok.

I haven't been hungry today so I haven't eaten anything.  I have no idea what I'll do while I'm in the city.

I still had a headache this morning, but that's better now.

I ordered Jamaica Sunset for Ella, the Frog Princess since today's the last day of the sale.  At least I won't have to wait for fabric when I get ready to do the Mirabilia patterns that I want to do.

I think my daughter is about ready to go so that's all for today...

Tempest 5

Here's what Tempest looks like so far...

Finally got tracking information from Silkweaver.  My fabric is supposed to be here Friday.

Day 41

I ate around 1000 calories yesterday.  I was still nauseated all day yesterday.  I finally started feeling a bit better during the night.  I wish I could eat like that all the time without the nausea.  The nausea seems to have passed, but I still have a slight headache today, which makes me believe that it was some sort of migraine.  I used to get those quite often.  Or, actually, it could have been anxiety.  Or a bit of both.

Raggedy Man was here yesterday and this morning.  He's gone off again, though.  I have no idea where he hangs out, but his fur was full of burrs.

My raccoons are still coming up every night.  There are now several babies with them.  I can get some of them to take the vanilla creme cookies from my hand.  We also have an opossum that is my daughter's favorite.

I received my supplies for Fairy Dreams from 123Stitch today.  I've got to get all of that sorted out later.

I still haven't heard from Silkweaver.  I may call this afternoon and check on the status of my orders.  It's very irritating that they haven't answered my message.

I need to go back to the city to make my working copies of Titania and Adia.  I may do that tomorrow.  I was considering going today, but I have to clean out the laundry room.  After that, I will be working some more on Tempest.  I don't like to have several projects going at once.  When I used to cross stitch years ago, I worked on only one thing at a time - maybe two, so I'd really like to get Tempest finished or very close to finished.

So, I need to go get busy on the laundry room so I'll have more time to stitch this afternoon...

Update:  I ended up calling Silkweaver.  The guy I talked to told me he'd look up the orders and call back in 5 minutes.  I waited 25 minutes and finally called back.  Then I was put on hold and nobody ever came back.  I finally called back and talked to this guy named Jim.  He was really nice even though I wanted to bite his head off.  He said 2 of my fabrics had been mailed Thursday and another will be mailed tomorrow.  I'll have to wait and see if I get those fabrics tomorrow.   He said they were mailed 3-day priority.

Tempest 4

Here's how far I got on Tempest last night.  I would've gotten more done if I hadn't had to take out stitches about five times from one of the spines on the wing on the right.  I just couldn't get it right.  I hope I've finally fixed it.

I emailed both 123Stitch and Silkweaver.  123Stitch sent out my Raven Queen pattern within the next few hours.  Silkweaver never answered.  If they don't answer this morning, I'm going to call to check on the order.

Day 40

There's not much going on today.  It's pretty quiet around here.  Boyfriend did leave yesterday.  He was supposed to leave the Sunday before that.  Not that I minded him being here.  I just didn't want him to stay here and skip class.

Raggedy Man showed up last night and this morning so he's ok, I guess.  He just hasn't decided he wants to live here.  I'm the only human he'll even allow near him.  He runs away when anyone else goes outside.

I ate about 900 calories yesterday.  I was nauseated for most of the day.  I was afraid it was the beginnings of a migraine, but it eventually eased off.  I was still nauseated for most of the day, though.  I'm feeling a bit better today although still a bit nauseated and weak.  It was probably a mini-migraine since I'm still feeling it, but I usually get full blown ones and have to go get a shot to get rid of them.

My daughter was watching Orphan Black last night.  It was pretty interesting, but not something I'm going to try to keep up with.  I have a Roku and we usually watch Netflix or Amazon Instant Video instead of watching real TV.  We also watched a couple of episodes of Wil Wheaton's Tabletop.

Well, that's about it for now...

Tempest 3

Here's how far I got on Tempest last night.  I really need to start taking pictures somewhere else.  The lighting isn't good in our den.

Silkweaver is having a 30% off sale through the 8th so I ordered Sudden Storm for The Raven Queen.  I ordered The Raven Queen from 123Stitch the day they put her up on their site and they keep pushing back the shipping date.  Right now it's at the end of July.  I'm upset about that, too.  They don't even have the pattern on their website anymore.  I'm going to email them today about that order and see what's going on.  I guess I can wait on both the fabric and the pattern for that one because I'll be working on Titania, Fairy Dreams, and maybe Adia, but it's extremely irritating.  I am not a patient person...

Day 39

I'm not feeling well today.  I woke up with a nauseating headache so I haven't done anything since then.  I figured I'd better go ahead and post since the day's almost over.

I did go off plan yesterday, but not too badly.  I had a really good salad at Chick-Fil-A while we were in the city.

We didn't get to see fireworks because the weather got bad and it rained all day.  It's rained here on the 4th of July for the past 6 or 7 years.

I also didn't get the working copy of Titania made.  Office Depot closed early.  I was really disappointed about that.  I did get a few skeins of floss I needed at Michael's, though.

My stray cat hasn't shown up again today.  I named him Raggedy Man.  I shouldn't have done that.  Now I've gotten too attached to him.  I worry that something has happened to him.

It's getting to be pretty bad weather out there again today.

Boyfriend is supposed to be leaving today.  He does have class tomorrow so he'd better not miss it.

That's about it for today.  I'm just taking it easy trying to get rid of this headache.

Tempest 2

First of all, I apologize for the lighting.  It's the middle of the night... or very early in the morning.  I've been working on Tempest and I'm still not happy with it.  I don't like the way the stitches look and I've about decided that my old floss is useless.  I'm going to put some pictures below of some of the little animals I stitched so you can compare the stitches.  The ones on the little animals are full and nice.  The ones on Tempest are thin and flat.

Here's what I've done so far.  I keep doing a little more and a little more trying to decide if I want to toss it or not.  I backstitched a little bit to see if that would make it better.

Here are the little animals I stitched.  The black on the raccoon's eyes and nose came out thin so I'm going to go back over those.

Again, I apologize for the lighting.  The pictures actually look brighter on my phone.  Anyway, you can see how the stitches are full and fluffyish.  There's pretty good coverage.  Tempest just isn't looking like that and I believe it's because the floss is so old.  When I was backstitching, it kept splitting and breaking.  I tried taking a close up of Tempest.  I'm not sure if you can really tell anything from it.  I'm really rather embarrassed by the way it's looking.

So, I haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet.  I'll stitch some more and see if I can decide.  What do you think?  Any suggestions?

Day 38

Off plan yesterday.  I did eat some of what the kids cooked for supper.  I will most likely be off plan today as we're going into the city for the 4th.

I won't be getting any stitching done today as we'll be gone, but I'll be able to get some floss and make a working copy of Titania.

This one is short.  I've got to get ready to go and I'm running a bit late today.  I do feel better than yesterday since I managed to get a good bit of sleep last night and my cat showed up this morning.  I was so afraid something had happened to him.  I don't know where he hangs out when he's not here, but he just hasn't decided to quite live here yet.  Ok, I do need to go now...

Tempest

Ok, here's a picture of what I've gotten done so far.  Here's what it's supposed to look like.  I'm not happy with it.

Do you see how the floss is so thin and flat?  Especially the lighter colors?  I'm not even sure if I'm going to finish it.  I also don't think I'm going to buy new floss and start over right now.  I may do that sometime later.  So, what about the floss?  Does it get thin, flat, and weak over time?  Or am I doing something wrong?  The colors aren't even blending right.  I've checked over and over and over and I'm using the correct colors.  The little animals I did with new floss turned out well.  Any help would be appreciated...

Day 37

I ate around 1100 calories yesterday.

I worked on Tempest a good bit last night.  I've gotten his face and the top of his wings finished - no backstitching, though.  I'm getting back into practice counting on evenweave fabric, but I'm not happy with the way it looks.  It's been about 11 years since I've stitched anything.  I didn't realize it had been that long.  It doesn't seem like it.  But the floss is at least 11 years old and seems to have gotten flat and thin.  I don't like how the floss looks.  If anybody has any experience - hints, tips, advice - using old floss, please contact me because I really don't want to spend the time sorting out all of my old floss if it's unusable.  (There's a contact button over on the right.)  I'm just wondering if I should throw away all of my old floss.  (It's DMC.)  I'll try to get a picture of it later so you can see what I'm talking about.  I want my stitches to look fluffy and full.  If there's anybody that can help me out, please, please, please contact me.

As of right now, we have no plans for the 4th.  We have a small family and some are on vacation so it looks like we may not do anything.  Which is honestly fine with me.  I also don't like shooting fireworks around the house because it scares my animals.  So, I'm not sure what will be going on there.

Boyfriend is still here.  It looks like he'll be staying until Sunday.

I'm not feeling well today.  A wave of depression just hit me while ago.  It could be lack of sleep or not getting anywhere on the diet or the summer's halfway over or the thought of having to throw away all of my old floss or that Tempest isn't looking so great or that my stray cat hasn't shown up since yesterday morning - most likely a combination of all those things.  I really don't know, but I'm on the verge of tears.

That's about all for today unless I get a picture a bit later of Tempest.

Update:  The kids are cooking supper so I'll probably have to eat a bit of that.  We're also going to the city tomorrow for the 4th.  I feel really bad.  I doubt I get much stitching done tonight.  I'll probably get in bed early.

Day 36

I ate about 1400 calories yesterday.

I've been working on Tempest.  I've got the top part of the border done and most of his head.  There are so many fractional stitches and the colors are sort of all over the place so it's kind of slow going, but Teresa Wentzler patterns are like that.  I'll see about getting some pictures when I've got a bit more done.

I ordered the supplies I need for Fairy Dreams today.  I'll most likely get those before I get my fabric for Titania.  I also ordered the fabrics for Adia, the Woodland Fairie, and the Petal Fairy along with the fabric for Titania so at least I won't have to wait on those when I get ready to do those patterns.

I had to take my mother to the eye doctor this morning and my daughter didn't get up until late (she's sleeping on the sofa where my stitching stuff is set up - her boyfriend is still here and he's sleeping in her bedroom) so I didn't start working on Tempest until a couple of hours ago so I haven't gotten that much done today.  So I'm going to go work on that a bit more...

Day 35

I ate about 1500 calories yesterday.  I guess I'm going to have to eat a bit more and lose weight slowly so I won't get too hungry.  I don't know.  I'm just trying to work this all out.

I'm so sleepy.  I've gotten very little sleep the past few nights.  Lack of sleep affects eating, too, so I need to get back on a good sleep schedule.

I got started on Tempest.  I already had all the materials because I planned to do him a good while ago.  I didn't finish the alpaca or start on the sloth.  I was just doing those little things because I thought I'd have my fabric for Titania this week.  I found the fabric for Fairy Dreams, but not the other materials, so I'm going to have to get all that.  If Silkweaver doesn't ship my fabric by Monday, I guess I'm going to open a case with PayPal.  It's a good thing I paid through them and have buyer's protection so I can get my money back if I don't get the fabric.  I did call and they said they pretty much dye to order so they don't have any fabrics ready for shipping.  There's supposed to be a 14 day window for dyeing and processing the order, but it's already been almost 14 days.  I've read about a few people having problems with them so now I'm just nervous.  Hopefully, they'll have my fabric ready in a few days.  It's just irritating that they told me that it would be ready at the beginning of this week and then changed that to the beginning of next week.

I'm feeling a bit anxious right now.  My daughter's boyfriend is still here.  I don't mind him being here but he's missed two classes and he needs to get his butt back down there and go to school.  My ex-husband did that - started skipping classes and ended up failing the classes and dropping out and that ended up being pretty much the pattern of the rest of our marriage.  It makes me real nervous that my daughter's boyfriend has missed two classes already.  He is so not going to stay here and not go to school.  I'm about to have to take a nerve pill just thinking about it.  If he doesn't leave soon (within the next few hours), I'm going to have to tell him to go and I don't want to do that.

Today is ending up to be a nerve-wracking day...

Update:  Boyfriend says he doesn't have any more classes until Monday so I guess he'll be here until Sunday...

Day 34

I'm feeling a bit better today than yesterday.  I didn't stay on plan yesterday because the kids made supper and I couldn't tell them I didn't want to eat any.  I ate turkey and rice with a little gravy so it wasn't that bad.  I'm feeling a little anxious, but I'm afraid any medication will put me to sleep because I didn't get much sleep last night.

I'm still waiting to hear from Silkweaver about my fabric.  I'm about half done with the alpaca and I picked out a sloth to do if I'm still waiting for my fabric in the next few days - if we go into the city to get the floss.  I've been trying to plan how I'm going to do Titania - and the rest of the fairies - and I've decided I may have to grid the whole thing before I start stitching.  I've never done that before so I'm not really sure about it.  I didn't have a problem with counting before I needed glasses, but I'm having trouble now.

I'm still waiting for the kids to wake up.  They stayed up pretty much all night playing a video game.  I stayed up most of the night so I'm still pretty sleepy.  My daughter's boyfriend was supposed to leave Sunday and then he was supposed to leave yesterday.  I'm pretty sure he's leave today.

Update: Silkweaver is now saying that it will be next week before my fabric is shipped so I said to heck with it - I'm going to start stitching Teresa Wentzler's Tempest.

Day 33

172.4 at the doctor's office.  I am completely baffled as to how I have gained weight.  I've gone off plan a few times but not enough to gain.  I should have at least maintained.  So it's back to counting calories.

My daughter's boyfriend is still here.  We watched The Mist and Maximum Overdrive today.  I'm not a fan of Stephen King, though.

I finished the possum and the frog.  I'm now working on the alpaca and still waiting for my fabric to come in.  They said it would ship by today, but it hasn't shipped yet.  I'll have to email them and ask when it will ship.

I'm feeling a little better, but still a lot of anxiety going on.  I just got my medication refilled about an hour and a half ago so I'm waiting to see if that helps.

That's all for today...

Day 32

I'm feeling better today, thank goodness.  I don't know what happened yesterday, but it was terrible.  I did not stay on plan yesterday, nor will I today.  I'll just have to start over tomorrow.

I've got an appointment tomorrow with one of my doctors to get my anxiety medication refilled among other things.  I ran out which made yesterday tougher to handle.  I should have already gone for the refills, but I just hate going to doctors.

I finished the raccoon last night and started on the possum.  I got the possum done.  Now all I need to do are the flowers and backstitching.  I so wish my fabric would come in for Titania.  If it doesn't come in soon, my daughter is going to have tons of little animals to hang on her dorm room wall.

I'm getting sleepy.  We stayed up really late last night - until 3:00am - watching the last season of Parks and Recreation.  My daughter and her boyfriend are still asleep, so I may take a nap.  I would work on stitching, but my daughter has been sleeping on the couch where all my stitching stuff is.  I can't just bring it back to my bedroom because I need my magnifier lamp.

Day 31

I'm not sure what happened, but yesterday I spiraled into an abyss of depression.  I've lost interest in stuff.  I'm just not feeling well today.  I'm hoping it will pass soon.  Several things went wrong and I lost it.  My nerves have gotten to the point that I can't take stress that well.  I've had to take extra anxiety medication.

I went off plan yesterday, too.  I've been such a mess for the past couple of days.

I'm supposed to get my materials for Titania today which is good.  I'm just waiting on the fabric now.  I'm just not sure I can do it on the 32 count fabric.  I'm really nervous about that and discouraged.  I found two other things I can work on until the fabric comes in - an alpaca and a frog.  I just keep trying to find little things to work on so I don't get caught up in something big before I start Titania.  I don't know.  I'm beginning to think I don't deserve to do these things.  I'm in a bad place right now.  I hope it passes soon.

We're probably going the Chinese restaurant to eat at some point while my daughter's boyfriend is here so I might as well forget my diet until he's gone.  I doubt I lose anything this month.

I need help today.  I can't exactly pinpoint what's wrong although I have some ideas.  I apologize for the depressing post today.  Hopefully things will get better.

Day 30

I didn't count calories yesterday.  We had pizza and dessert when my daughter's boyfriend got here.

I'm still waiting on my supplies for Titania which are a couple of states away.  I'm still very upset about that.  So I'm looking for more small animals I can do until I get to start on Titania.  Because my packages are taking so long to get here, my floss for the possum won't be here tomorrow so I guess I'm going to have to drive to the city to get the floss.  That's an hour there and an hour back which I did not want to do, but I guess I'll make the trip today or tomorrow.

I've had a stomach bug for the past couple of days and I've got a headache, so I'm not feeling very well.  I'm kind of weak and just overall yucky.

I'm just waiting for my daughter to wake up to see what they're doing today to decide what day I'm going into the city...

Day 29

I still hurt all over this morning, but I am feeling a bit better.  Yesterday I could barely move.  I didn't get much accomplished yesterday at all.  There were several things I wanted to do yesterday, but I just couldn't bring myself to do them.  I had lots of anxiety yesterday, too.

I'm almost finished with the raccoon.  I won't have the floss to start the possum until Saturday.  Unfortunately the nearest shop that carries floss is an hour away so I've ordered it.  I did consider making the trip to get the floss, but I just didn't want to drive all that way for just floss so I'll have to wait until Saturday to get started on that one.  I need to organize my cross-stitching supplies so I guess I'll work on that until Saturday.

I'm supposed to get all the stitching supplies for Titania today, but my fabric won't be in until next week sometime.  I contacted Silkweaver and they said it should be shipped by Monday.  Meanwhile, I've ordered patterns for The Raven Queen (because it's so cool) and Ella, the Frog Princess (because it's got a frog in it).  I have to say that I'm extremely intimidated terrified by these projects I'm undertaking.  I don't know why.  I used to stitch Teresa Wentzler designs.  This will be my first Mirabilia, though.  I think what I'm most worried about is stitching on 32 count fabric.  I've never done that before and my eyesight has gotten bad in the past few years.  Plus I haven't cross-stitched in a long time so that's probably a big part of it.

I also found two other designs I want to do - Fairy Dreams and Fairy Grandmother.  I already have those patterns and I think I may have all the materials for Fairy Dreams.  I'll have to look for all that when I'm organizing my cross-stitch supplies.  I've got several big boxes of stuff so that may take a while.

I just hope I won't get frustrated and quit.  I know it'll take forever to do these designs and I want to stick with it, but depression, anxiety, and stress get in the way.  Sometimes I lose interest in everything - especially during the school year.  I feel like nothing matters and there's no point in anything.  I feel like I don't deserve to do anything enjoyable.  It's a horrible feeling.

So, I ate about 1400 calories yesterday.

My daughter's boyfriend is supposed to get here today.  He'll get here this evening and stay until Sunday.  So, I'd better get going.  There are several things I want to do before he gets here...

Update:  My supplies for Titania did not get here today.  I am so disappointed.  I actually called USPS and they said give it one more day and call back tomorrow if it's not here then.

Day 28

I totally gave out yesterday.  I got so tired I could barely move and I hurt all over.  I'm not feeling much better this morning.  Sometimes my body will do this.  It just feels like all the stress, anxiety, and depression make my body give out.  I just have to wait until it passes.  Sometimes it lasts longer than others.

I did start on the little raccoon yesterday.  I also found a possum I'm going to work on after that except I'm changing it to look like an American Opossum instead of an Australian Possum - just the ears and the tail.  I'm trying to do little things until my supplies for Titania come in.  I don't want to start on something big and quit in the middle to do Titania.  I know most cross-stitchers have several works in progress at once, but I want Titania to be my main one and then if I decide to start on something else later (possibly Adia), I'll do that.  I'm just getting back into this after several years so I don't want to overwhelm myself.

Anyway, I ate about 1300 calories yesterday.  Usually when I get tired like this I'll overeat, but I did well yesterday and didn't eat more than I should.

Well, I do need to get up from here and get busy on something (although I don't feel like it).  I will post more later...

Thanks for reading my blog!!!

Day 27

I didn't feel well yesterday - anxiety and depression.  I don't know why.  I just pretty much woke up that way.  I got in an argument with my mother which made me feel worse.  Yesterday was just not a good day.

I got a lot of the cleaning out done, but I didn't finish.  I've got to finish today.

I ate around 1300 calories yesterday.

I got discouraged again yesterday over my weight.  I'm just feeling like this weight is going to put up a good fight before I can get rid of it and I'm not sure I'm going to be strong enough.  I just wish I could see some progress, if only a little, but so far there has been nothing.

I decided what fabric I want for Woodland Fairie.  Now I will have fabrics for all four fairies that I want to stitch.  Here they are:

Titania - Fairy Land
Adia - Wandering Ivy
Woodland Fairie - Ocean
Petal Fairy - Magical Garden

Now, if they would just get here so I could get started...

I did find a cute little raccoon that I can work on until my supplies come in.

I would also like to do Little Snap Dragon, but it'll probably take me forever to do the fairies so at this point, it's just wishful thinking.  Not to mention that I may decide to do Midsummer Night's Fairy.  I've got the pattern, but I haven't decided if I really want to do that one or not.

Ok, I've got to go get busy now...

Day 26

I finished Unicorns of Vengeance last night.  I wish I had my materials to start Titania but it will be a while before those come in.  I'm considering going ahead and ordering the materials for Adia.  I ordered the fabric from Silkweaver.  They make gorgeous fabrics.  I went ahead and got the fabrics for Titania, Adia, and Petal Fairy.  Another one I want to do is Woodland Fairie, but I haven't picked out what fabric I want for her yet.  I told my daughter that I'm making these for my granddaughter.  Now, my daughter isn't married.  She's not even engaged.  But one day she'll be married and have a little girl and these are for her.  Seriously.

I got a lot done cleaning out that room, but I didn't finish yesterday.  I'm planning on finishing today.

I ate about 1400 calories yesterday.  I keep hoping that I'll get used to not eating so much and stop being hungry as often so I can make it down to 1200 a day.

Currently the reality show is Bridezilla.  My daughter just loves bad reality TV.

I'm waiting for the medicine to kick in and then I've got to get started on cleaning.  I've really got to get that room finished today...

Day 25

I finally decided on what cross stitch project to start on next.  I'm going to be working on Titania, Queen of Fairies.  When I get a camera or a new phone, I'll post pictures.  I just ordered the materials so it'll be a week or so before I can start.

I went through a bout of depression again yesterday.  I forgot to take my meds a couple of days so that could've been the problem, but there are other things going on.  I'm feeling a little better now.

I ate about 1400 calories yesterday.

I'm also up late again.  I don't know why.  I was sleepy while ago and intended to get in bed my midnight, but it just didn't happen.  I kept going through my cross stitching stuff and I just never did get in bed.  Besides that, when my daughter stays up late, I like to stay up to spend time with her.  We're currently watching The X-Files.

I've got to really work on finishing up one room today which was one reason I wanted to get a good bit of sleep.  I guess I'll try to get a little sleep before it's time to get up and start working...

Day 24

I ate about 1400 calories yesterday.

My stray cat came back, but left again.

The shots for my back wore off way too quickly.  Also, they didn't work as well as the first time.  I'm disappointed.  I stayed up super late last night because my daughter was sick so I slept late this morning.  Now I'm waiting for the medicine I took to kick in so I can start cleaning out again.

We've got to make another trip to Walmart today as much as I hate to.  It'll probably be packed since tomorrow's Father's Day.  We don't celebrate Father's Day around here.  My father was an a**hole and my daughter's father is one.  So basically this is a non-holiday for us.

I'm making a good bit of progress on Unicorns of Vengeance.  I must admit that when I asked my daughter to pick out a cross stitch project for me to do for her, I thought it would be something - I don't know - prettier... more challenging - but this is what she wanted so I'm working on it.

Well, I need to get up and get busy even though the medicine isn't really working like I had wanted it to...

Day 23

I ate about 1300 calories yesterday.  We got a lot of stuff cleaned out, but still have more work to do.  I also started Unicorns of Vengeance.  My new magnifier lamp works great!  I'm so glad I got it!

I went to the doctor and got the shots for my back again today.  I'll be trying to lift boxes this weekend cleaning those rooms out.  I did not get weighed at the doctor's office today.  My back does feel better, but it is starting to give me a headache again.

I haven't seen my stray cat today.  I'm a bit concerned.  I hope he shows up tonight.  Some guys were out here working for a while today so that may have scared the cat off.

I'm still feeding the raccoons and opossums every night.  It's so cute.  The raccoons will come up to me for the vanilla creme cookies.  I just love raccoons.  I want to hug one.

My daughter and mother ordered pizza for tonight's supper, but I didn't have any.  I really need to stick to the plan and get this weight off.  It just seems like it doesn't want to budge.  We haven't gotten to get into walking yet.  It rained every day for a while and now we're busy cleaning out those rooms.  My daughter's boyfriend is coming for a visit next weekend.  Hopefully after that we'll be able to start walking.  Unfortunately, it's started getting really hot now.  The "feels like" temperature today was 103 degrees.

So far, my summer has been pretty boring.  I haven't had much to write about.  But I will continue to post my calorie intake.

Oh, and we're currently watching Marriage Boot Camp...